Posted by
m0t0r1zed on Monday, November 03, 2008 10:13:56 AM
The time for action is now! While we idly speak, global warming is ravaging the pirate population and driving them to near extinction.
Global Warming Causes Pirate Population Decrease
Sadly, the comments show a dearth of understanding of the true, underlying mechanism behind the phenomenon. Though this is often believed, ninjas are NOT the natural enemies of pirates! They live in completely different habitats! It is just a meme manufactured on the Interwebs to export Pocky into the West!
The scientifical consensus is that SEA MONSTERS are the natural enemis of pirates! There is overwhelming evidence showing that global warming has unfrozen the sea monsters trapped in ice during the last ice age, and their release into the oceans has decimated the pierat population!
Furthermore, computer models predict a concomitant thawing of fire-breathing dragons, thereby resulting in a positive feedback effect causing even more rapidly melting ice and increases in global temperatures. This will result in a tipping point in the near future where our skies and seas will be dominated by monsters, and our last, best hope for survival will rest in an alliance of ninjas, pirates, and vikings, all led by Beowulf.
I had charts and data showing conclusive proof of this causal link, but they were stolen by industrialist ninja spies too blinded by their capitalist greed to realize what they are doing to our beautiful planet!
Note: the original hypothesis was that pirates caused global warming.
However, the issue of "what causes what" is irrelevant. Now is not the time to quibble. We all agree that the most important thing is that WE MUST DO SOMETHING!!!